Dear Level

How to Step Up Your ‘Stranger at a Bar’ Role-Play

Ever imagine hooking up with a stranger?

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Published in
4 min readJul 30, 2021

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Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium. Source: Getty Images.

Being in a loving, nurturing, and safe long-term relationship can be stabilizing, life-changing, and… well, boring.

Unfortunately, year after year of having sex with the same person in the same ways can quickly turn into not having sex at all — and often does. Coupled with everyday stressors like demanding careers, finances, aging parents, and/or raising your own kids, sex with your partner can easily become an afterthought. Familiarity can breed contempt; comfort can easily slip into complacency. Therefore, keeping your sex life exciting often takes a concerted effort.

One way to keep things exciting is by focusing on fantasies, many of which may call for the introduction of other sexual partners. Now, while many couples thrive in open relationships, many more prefer monogamy, which puts the kibosh on most fantasies (unless it’s The One-Man Gangbang!). That’s where a bit of imagination and amateur acting enter the equation. The “stranger at a bar” fantasy — a common role-play that involves lovers masquerading as unacquainted people hooking up — is one way to spice things up, but allow me to present a tweak that takes it to the next level.

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Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Writer for

3x New York Times bestselling author, art enthusiast, and design girlie living between Los Angeles and New York City