Dear Level

The Not-So-Crazy Argument for a Sex-Free Summer

After 60 days of celibacy, you’ll be amazed by what you’ve learned about yourself

Aliya S. King
LEVEL
Published in
6 min readJul 3, 2020

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Illustration: Janet Sung

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

The year was 1997. I was 24 years old and dating a few people but none seriously. Truth be told, I was kind of over it. It felt like every single situationship was the same: Date for a while until you feel like it’s compatible; have sex; date a little while longer; watch things inevitably fizzle out for any number of reasons.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I wasn’t ready to get married or have babies, so each relationship was just a freestyle swim back and forth in the dating pool with no real idea of what (if anything) came next.

Sex made things even more complicated. I’ve always had a healthy libido, and unlike some of my friends, I was lucky to have trusting, respectful partners, even as a young woman. I’m grateful that I didn’t have the hang-ups around sex that many do — but good sex with an average guy too often kept me around beyond the relationship’s shelf life.

After yet another six-month situationship that ended up going nowhere, 24-year-old me needed…

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Aliya S. King
LEVEL

Aliya S. King is an author, freelance writer and editor.