My Son Never Wants to Meet His Father, and I Celebrate That Life Choice

Sometimes, for fathers who abandon their children, there’s no coming back

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Published in
6 min readFeb 24, 2021

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Photo: Adam Hester

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In my first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen, I graphically chronicled a four-year abusive relationship with my son’s biological father, Nathaniel, professionally known as Kool G Rap, one of hip-hop’s most formidable artists of yesteryear. There’s no time to go through the whole sordid affair, so for context, here are the CliffsNotes.

When I met Nathaniel in Arizona in 1995, I was just 17 years old; he was 10 years my senior. In 1998, we had a son together. By the following year, our relationship had ended. In December 1999, I left my son with his father while I went to Los Angeles and secured a home for the baby and me. One month later, as my son turned two, I brought our baby back to L.A., where we lived for the next 21 years.

During our time in Los Angeles, my son received no support from his father, financial or otherwise, causing us to depend on welfare through our early years in California. By the time my child was seven, I’d started my career as an author — thankfully, with my first book selling more than a million copies worldwide, we no longer needed anyone else’s assistance.

Every day, I wake up and think about my son’s future — how I can ensure he has a more comfortable life than I had and never has to struggle or worry unnecessarily. I alone am ensuring my son reaches greatness. His biological father is not.

The next 11 years were the same as the five before it. There were no attempts by Nathaniel to connect with or support my son. I had no idea where he lived, so tracking him down was impossible. And considering the physical and emotional abuse I experienced during our time together, for which he was arrested and charged, I had no such urge to reach out. This wasn’t the sort of man I wanted my son to know or know about. [Editor’s note: Kool G Rap has previously repudiated his

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Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Writer for

3x New York Times Bestselling Author | 'The House of Ill Repute (Kensington Publishing, 2024)