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Dear Level
Yes, Women Are Still Faking Orgasms
Not all the time, but it happens. Don’t stress
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
Thirty years ago, a single scene in a romantic comedy changed sex lives forever.
I wasn’t sexually active quite yet, but I remember watching When Harry Met Sally with intrigue. In an iconic moment, the will-they-or-won’t-they couple is in a New York City delicatessen, debating whether women ever fake orgasms. Harry, certain as ever, says that women never fake orgasms with him. If someone did, he continues, he’d surely be able to tell.
In response, Sally puts down her sandwich and puts on a show to make a point. For a full minute, she groans, moans, tosses her hair, slams the table, and tops it all off with an orgasmic finish. It’s a pseudo-sexual tour de force, a marvel of deli dramatics — after which she goes right back to her lunch with a sly smile, as if nothing had happened. Harry is stunned, as is everyone else in attendance.
Ever since the release of that film, the question of whether women occasionally fake orgasms has become commonplace, feeding the anxieties of men everywhere. I can’t speak for all women, but the short answer is: hell, yes. Current peer-reviewed research reveals that 58% of American women have faked it at least once (whether any of those instances took place in a restaurant is anyone’s guess). The numbers don’t lie. But the real question is why?
No harm in a little white lie in the form of convulsions and speaking in tongues, right?
There are a few probable reasons. Personally, I blame porn. Watching pornography led me to believe that men and women always orgasm at the exact same time. It took me a long time to figure out that it’s not only unlikely for a couple to orgasm simultaneously — it’s also unnecessary. If your partner’s perception of sex has been informed by porn, she may think that you’re expecting some kind of cataclysmic duel ending, and thus fake her way through it.
Alternatively, a woman may fake it due to libido. Let’s just say she’s not in the mood, but her…
