Just Rankin’ Sh!t
5 Songs You Definitely Shouldn’t Add to Your Mother’s Day Playlist, Ranked
Don’t make things awkward, son
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5. “Ain’t Your Mama,” Jennifer Lopez
Just what your Mother’s Day soundtrack needs: an audio skewering of man-babies who refuse to grow the hell up, instead, playing Xbox all damn day and expecting a significant other to handle simple adult responsibilities like cooking and cleaning. We’re not gonna tell you what to do — we ain’t your mama, either — but we doubt this is the vibe you’re going for.
4. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” The Jackson 5
You see, this is exactly why you can’t rely on a keyword search to power your streaming choices. You’ll end up looking as bright as Prancer’s nose, playing a Christmas carol dead in the middle of spring. ‘Tis the wrong season, sir.
3. “Ms. Jackson,” OutKast
One of OutKast’s biggest hits, sure. But you really wanna hear the official anthem of co-parenting and child support strife on a day celebrating matriarchs? Save yourself the drama and…
