Higher Learning. A publication from Medium for the interested man.

Just Rankin Shit

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Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The only #NoNutNovember credo that matters

6. Walnuts

These nuts are trash, lacking the juiciness of a cashew, the sweet flavoring of a pecan, or the roasted deliciousness of a chestnut. Walnuts are impossible to crack and aren’t worth all the trouble. In fact, the only good walnut ever was Paulie.

5. “The Nutcracker”

The 1892 ballet is still super popular…

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Congrats, you’re talking to real people at real parties. Just don’t do it like this.

4. “So, you Moderna Massive or Pfizer Force Five?”

Despite what ironic hashtags will have you believe, this is an express flight to playing yourself. Science is dope, but pledging your allegiance to a billion-dollar pharma company is another thing entirely. This isn’t arguing about things with qualitative differences, like pizza chains and Girl Scout Cookies — they do…

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Stop being cute and just describe the damn thing!

6. Exuberance

For any general color you can think of, there are dozens of Pantone varieties. Take orange: There’s Orangeade, Jaffa Orange, Apricot, Orange.com (whatever the hell that means), Tangelo, D’angelo (okay, not that one), and the list goes on. Most of them at least sound orange. And then there’s… exuberance. …

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

How has the DMV not revoked every last license?

7. Driving a car onto a moving boat (‘2 Fast 2 Furious’)

2 Fast 2 Furious is when things began to get 2 reckless, as seen in this scene that finds Brian (Paul Walker) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) driving a classic car from the road onto a moving yacht in open water. …

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Bring on the bubble guts!

6. (Real) Singles

We don’t know much, but we know one thing: There are foods that only a Kraft product can complete. What, you’re gonna make a grilled cheese or breakfast sandwich with Swiss like a damn savage? The thing is, not all American cheese is created equal. If the package says “cheese…

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

If you were a gas pipeline, you’d already be out millions!

5. “123456”

No lie, this is the most common password used. (And “123456789” is right behind it.) If you’re lazy enough to rock with this, we’d hate to see the back of your fridge. Or your personal grooming situation. Or really anything else in your life.

4. “Password”

Another perennial top five on security…

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Lotteries are cool, but it’s time to get creative

4. Cutsies on the SNKRS app

Rates of vaccine hesitancy among Gen Z — i.e., those damn kids — have only gone up. Know what might help? A decent shot at those Electric Green 6’s dropping this weekend!

3. Utilities credits

We may not be jumping at Anheuser-Busch’s free beer offer, but that’s because Budweiser is fucking terrible. The…


Higher Learning. A publication from Medium for the interested man.

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