Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 5 Valentine’s Day Gifts Most Likely to Start a Fight, Ranked
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5. An air fryer
Yes, these were the trendiest appliances of 2020. But if you’re not careful, gifting kitchenware for V-Day could come off as a strong nudge at household roles. (Ditto for a cleaning product or device.) Don’t be a chauvinist swine, sir.
4. A gym membership
Have you learned nothing from Peloton Dad? Unless fitness is particularly on brand for your better half, tread lightly when it comes to gifts that nod at body image. Especially if the only exercising you do is curling a can of Corona every night.
3. An IOU
What are you, like, five years old? We’re all awaiting a return to normalcy, which is starting to feel like waiting on a new album from Rihanna. No one wants yet another check they can’t immediately cash — certainly not whatever favor, gift, or grand gesture you’re promising in illegible chicken scratch on a page torn from a memo pad. Keep your Massage Bucks in your wallet.
