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Dear Level
How to Not Screw Up Your Marriage Proposal, Romeo
It’s only one of the biggest moments of your life. No pressure!
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
I didn’t enter 2020 anticipating marriage. And yet here we are. Over the holidays, in a tiny period of respite between election shenanigans and a terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol, I tied the knot with my betrothed. (Yes, something good happened during 2020!) Now I go around saying “Ize married now!” and wiggling my ring finger approximately six feet away from the face of anyone who will entertain me.
You might be right behind me. But if you’re ready to tie the knot, take the plunge, jump the broom, or any other euphemism for getting married, you’ve first gotta nail the proposal. It’s a custom that dates at least as far back as the Roman Empire, when men would put two rings on it before marriage — a gold one for out in the world, and an iron ring to wear at home while doing chores. (SMH.) Diamonds entered the tradition once they became more readily affordable, and marketers made them ubiquitous beginning in the 1940s.
No one wants to go through an elaborate speech surrounded by loved ones just to see their partner wincing with clenched teeth — or get curved on a Jumbotron screen.
The engagement ring is only part of the deal, though. A proposal is about the full package and presentation. If you want it to be one to remember (for good reasons!), you wanna take the appropriate measures beforehand. For one, it’s best that you make sure your partner is on the same page before you start planning to get down on bended knee like Wanye and them. Use your words. Talk about the prospect of spending your lives together. Make sure they aren’t secretly planning on breaking up with you in, like, three weeks. No one wants to go through an elaborate speech surrounded by loved ones just to see their partner wincing with clenched teeth — or get curved on a Jumbotron screen.
Once you’ve got an idea of your partner’s readiness for forever with you, it’s time to make…
