Dear Level

A Guide to a Happy Divorce

It’s never easy, but there’s still a relationship you can salvage

Aliya S. King
LEVEL
Published in
3 min readSep 4, 2020

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Illustration: Olivia Fields

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

After my 20-year relationship ended in divorce, I mourned. I mourned not just for the end of a marriage, but for what I thought would be the loss of my best friend. This was the first person I shared good and bad news with, the person I’d had children with, bought homes with.

It was all just devastating. Our teenager was starting college, and now we were raising an eight-year-old in separate homes. Everything — attending family weddings, parent-teacher conferences, taking the dog to the vet — was different now.

I know a lot of divorced couples, particularly those who are still raising children, and adjusting can take many years; many never find equilibrium at all. But I will say this: Five years later, my relationship with my ex is more than I could have hoped for. He’s my friend. I still call him to share good and bad news. We’re still raising our now 13- year-old daughter the best way we can. We live a few blocks apart, and our families are still connected.

If you have children, their antennae will detect every…

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Aliya S. King
LEVEL
Writer for

Aliya S. King is an author, freelance writer and editor.