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A Frank Conversation About Co-Parenting in a Pandemic
Divorced parents. A 13-year-old-daughter. Quarantine. Could it be any more uncertain?
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
When the coronavirus hit, my primary concern was my 12-year-old daughter. Her dad and I have been divorced for several years, and we’ve always managed to co-parent without conflict: Since she was eight years old, she’s spent alternating weeks with each of us. But in addition to being co-parents, Erik’s also my friend — and I’ve always been grateful for what we’ve built as ex-spouses. But then there was a global pandemic.
Suddenly, he and I were disagreeing on what to do, and flailing for answers to problems we didn’t even understand. While it’s certainly not over, right now it seems like the worst (or at least the first) has passed. In honor of Father’s Day, I called him up so we could post-game our pandemic parenting. From puberty to messiness, and from lackluster birthdays to maintaining an optimistic outlook, we get into everything. So here’s to you, dads: Married, divorced, single, or otherwise, you’re raising the kids who are going to help make this world a better place.
Aliya S. King: We were in a staff meeting at LEVEL talking about pandemic parenting, and I feel like you really got it right. Do you feel that way?
Erik Parker: I don’t know. I think there’s degrees of pandemic parenting. And we’re all getting graded on a curve. Even the kids, they’re getting graded on a curve in school. Parents are the same way. Everything is different, so we can’t be graded the same. These are circumstances where we’re giving a certain amount of grace to everyone.
ASK: Early on, when the coronavirus hit, we made the decision that our daughter was going to stay with you full time. There were confirmed cases of Covid-19 in my building — and with hundreds of residents there, it just made more sense for her to be in a more controlled environment with you.
EP: Right, we had to do it.
ASK: I was surprised that she followed the rules, even with me. I’m her mom! When I came to your place to visit, I thought she would sneak…
