Just Rankin’ Sh!t
6 Holidays Black People Refuse to Celebrate, Ranked
Not even a day off work is worth commemorating these travesties
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
6. July 4
We’re not gonna go full Frederick Douglass on you right now, but trust that the most you’ll get out of Black people for “Independence Day” is some love for fireworks. Celebrating freedom in the same country with a prison-industrial complex? Might need to wait for July 34th for that to happen.
5. St. Patrick’s Day
Any holiday that encourages debauchery is skating on thin ice, but when the debauchery is this unrelentingly Caucasian, there’s no point in even debating it. Turning beer green is only the beginning of the grossness, which invariably ends in city streets that look like a Roman purgatorium. We’re good on performative chugging, racist chants, and unprovoked property damage, thanks.
4. Columbus Day
Rebranding it to Indigenous People’s Day is all well and good, but that’s not gonna stop anyone with a shred of Genoan ancestry from venerating this violent doofus who couldn’t even find his way to…
