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Your Covid Conspiracy Theories Are Ruining Your Sex Life

Deluded beliefs, not the vaccine, make you radioactive to rational women

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Published in
4 min readJun 18, 2021

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Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium; Source: Getty Images

For those who’ve weighed the risks and decided that vaccinating themselves against the coronavirus is the right choice, rapid tests and the Pfizer-Moderna debate are as socially imperative as STD testing. This is especially true for those who are single and interested in dating. As such, thanks to the pandemic, yet another hurdle has been added to the already overwhelming “Is it safe to fuck you?” screening process when looking for a relationship or sexual partner.

What’s more, a derivative of that added layer of concern is the possibility of coming across someone who believes in a myriad of unsubstantiated conspiracy theories that have been swirling around the dark, sticky corners of the internet. Now, not only do singles have to try not to get sick or die from sexual contact or Covid, but they must also try to avoid dating people with vastly different beliefs about the disease and its vaccines.

Four of my closest male associates are die-hard conspiracy theorists. Over the past year, however, I’ve severed ties with each of them mainly because of their personal beliefs and related associations. Each is reclusive, over 50 years old, single, and has a hard time dating. Throughout the pandemic, they have shared with me numerous links to QAnon-type websites and social media accounts to try to prove their erroneous points.

Even if Bill Gates really is an alien in a man-suit who has been sent here to control the vast majority of humans with computers, phones, microchips, and vaccines, you’ll just sound crazy trying to explain your beliefs to a woman who thinks differently.

Between the four of them, I’ve heard it all. They’ve claimed that the vaccines make men’s dicks shrink, make people radioactive or magnetic, contain microchips, are a worldwide plot by Bill Gates to control the population, and more. None of the facts mattered to these guys. At the end of my exhausting conversations with them, I’d often…

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Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author

Written by Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author

3x New York Times bestselling author, art enthusiast, and design girlie living between Los Angeles and New York City

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