Why Delayed Ejaculation Is Hard to Solve

Men fantasize about this sexual dysfunction. In reality, it may not deliver the experience you or your partner were hoping for.

Shane Paul Neil
Published in
6 min readDec 3, 2019


Illustration: Richard Chance

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

It’s a random Wednesday afternoon. My girlfriend and I are having yet another conversation about sex.

“So. Babe?”

“What’s up.”

“Can you be a little less Kanye in bed?”

This is not a question you want to hear from your girlfriend. What does that even mean? Be less arrogant? Less MAGA? And why is she bringing up Kanye in the middle of a conversation about sex?

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t hear about the Kanye sex tape?”

I Google “Kanye sex tape” and find an article from 2012. A video of Kanye West having sex with a Kim Kardashian lookalike made the rounds, and many were marveling at Kanye’s 40 minutes of uninterrupted stroking.

“So, what’s the problem?” I ask.

“The problem is sex shouldn’t take that long.”


For as long as I can remember, hour-plus sessions have been typical for me.

I thought it was a good thing. Between spending my formative years watching porn and listening to comedians, films, and that Missy Elliott song about one-minute men, I assumed that my hour-plus marathons were the goal. One minute is not good? How about 100 minutes!

I search for “sex too long” and find article after article about men who take too long to climax. I know at a certain point enough is enough, but I didn’t think I was anywhere near that. My girlfriend felt differently.

“What do you want me to do?” I ask.

“Figure out how to make it not last so long.”

“So, you don’t like it?”

“I do. But my kidneys can’t take it.”

Between my cursory understanding of human anatomy and the fact that my penis isn’t the size of a billy club, I don’t get why her kidneys would be…



Shane Paul Neil
Writer for

Writer (duh) and photographer. Bylines @levelmag @complex @ebony @huffpo shanepaulneil.com