What June’s Never-Ending Fireworks Say About This Country

I’m sleep-deprived. You’re selfish. Whoever’s behind this is playing us both.

Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

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Photo: Stephen Mature/Getty Images

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

Dear every single soul responsible for the fireworks display that has gone on for weeks in New York and other major cities nationwide: Why do you hate me?

It’s not as if I’m not used to bored people passing the time with fireworks. This is the time of year when in many parts of this nation, cheap fireworks become readily available — theoretically to mark the Fourth of July, but usually just to make a bunch of noise. It’s not so much about national pride as it is simply blowing shit up because you have the means to do so. (The perfect metaphor for this nation.)

Being used to an annoying habit, though, doesn’t mean you want to start weeks earlier in the year than usual and at a much higher frequency than normal. And no, none of you are wrong for noticing an uptick in this annoying practice: A spokesperson for the National Fireworks Association confirmed in an interview with Slate that the organization “is hearing reports of increased sales from across the industry.” In fact, they’re having “‘a banner year’ for consumer sales.” I would…

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Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

New York Times bestselling author of “I Can’t Date Jesus” and “I Don’t Want To Die Poor.”