Dear Self: You Don’t Have to Be Ultra-Masculine to Be Loved
You’ll learn that the human species is far more diverse and resilient than the society of your childhood is willing to acknowledge
Zusong,
I know you’re having a hard time. I remember your secondary school teacher telling your mother, “This boy is too soft. Let’s hope the homosexuals do not get a hold of him.” You’re an anxious ball of stress because you know whenever you loosen up, people pounce on your queerness. Your grades have fallen. You dread mornings, knowing you have to face your classmates’ taunts: “Obaabesia, why do you act like a girl?”
What does it mean to “act like a girl,” anyway? You’re only being yourself — but society has decided you are somehow inappropriate. Your beautifully soft voice used to be considered endearing before your teenage years; now, seemingly immune to puberty, it draws suspicion.
Ghanaian culture, like many around the world, assign privileges and rights based on sex and gender. Society only allows for two distinct genders, each with its corresponding characteristics and privileges. At the apex are men — the ones “chosen by God” to be the leaders and the heads of households. “Being a man” means you have to be stoic, speak with a deep voice, and…
