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The Unrelenting Quest to Protect My Son From Other Men’s Expectations
Are we raising boys who are free to be themselves?
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A young Black boy comes into the house crying. When his parents ask what’s wrong, he explains: His classmates forgot his birthday. He cries harder, beginning to hyperventilate. The mother comforts the boy, tells him to breathe. It’s the picture of loving parenthood. The father, though, stands back with a look of disgust, shaking his head. On the screen, a mock scouting report appears distilling the 10-year-old’s disposition: He is the “sweet, sensitive, moist towelette of the family.”
This is a scene from Netflix’s #BlackAF, the latest comedy from Blackish creator Kenya Barris. Though the show portrays an entire family, it’s largely presented from Barris’ own POV — after all, he created, wrote, and even stars as himself, surrounded by an ensemble meant to be satirical versions of his own family.
And in the case of his son, Pops, that POV reveals a cultural issue that’s as American as White privilege: labeling boys “sensitive” because they don’t fit a hypermasculine standard. Barris toys with the label, wrings fun out of his own discomfort with his son…
