Dear Level

The Six Questions You Need to Ask Yourself When Infidelity Arises

Considering staying with an unfaithful partner? It’s time for some reflection.

Illustration: Olivia Fields

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

So, you know how I always put all my business out there for Dear Level? In nearly a year of writing this column, I’ve shared insight about my sex life, thoughts on sexting, office love affairs, penis size, rules of courtship, and about everything else you can imagine. This time around, though, I’m not going to be so candid. Because we’re gonna discuss infidelity.

I’ve got experience here: I’ve cheated and I’ve been cheated on. I’ll leave it at that, but I say it to say that while I won’t bother with the details, I’ll still be using my own life to steer this ship and offer guidance the best I can.

So. You find out your partner has been unfaithful. What do you do? Is it a deal breaker, or do you try to stay together and work it out?

Cheating is rarely the first sign that things are off, so consider how much of a surprise it really is. Did you see the flags?