Dear Level

The One Scenario Where Ghosting Your Partner Is Acceptable

Sometimes the cardinal sin of breakups is the only way

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Published in
5 min readJul 16, 2021

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Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium. Source: Getty Images.

Recently, after five years with my partner, I broke up with him via text. For those who weren’t familiar with the painful details of our relationship, my sudden and brash exit seemed cold and uncaring. On the contrary, however, it was the warmest, most loving thing I could do — for me.

After all the years and experiences we had together, I hadn’t lost an ounce of love for Everette. But being with someone who consistently weaponized his mental illnesses and personality disorders against me damaged my self-esteem almost beyond repair. I am still struggling to find myself attractive, worthy, and loveable after years of gaslighting, reactive abuse, and hyper-narcissism. Because of this, I had to step away, and only a text would do.

I’ve often heard women complain about being dumped over text messages or ghosted by men they’d been dating. Some people end relationships this way for reasons such as avoiding conflict, not wanting to take responsibility for their actions, or because they’re narcissistic assholes who get off on giving people the silent treatment. However, there are some excellent reasons for walking away from someone without an IRL goodbye.

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Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
LEVEL
Writer for

3x New York Times bestselling author, art enthusiast, and design girlie living between Los Angeles and New York City