The MVP of 2020 Is My Weed Man

It may not alleviate my anxiety as much as turning off the news, but it’s one of the few things I can control these days

Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

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Photo: Oleksandr Belinskyi/Getty Images

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Earlier this summer, I somehow convinced myself that I was about to lose my neck.

I wasn’t exactly sure how, but I just knew as punishment for smoking way too much weed lately, my fate was to become a windpipe-less Negro like Heathrow in Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral. (Sorry to the cultured folks who read that sentence and just cussed me out in their heads, but the shit was on Amazon Prime. It’s not like I’ve been able to go do hoodrat shit with my friends outside in the last six months, so I’ve been watching all types of shit; shout out to Keanu Reeves killing people, P-Valley, and American Gangster: Trap Queens. And if you’re booing and hissing about Amazon Prime: Beloveds, God is working on all of us, and I really needed to get some pandemic-related shit as fast to me and mine as possible.)

My fears eventually caused me to seek medical attention — but not in the form of rushing to urgent care in the middle of the pandemic so I could actively court the ’rona. I have a cousin that happens to not only…

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