I No Longer Drop N-Bombs
I stopped using the word in my twenties — but long before then, I realized its power
To call the word “nigga” complex is an understatement. Even calling “complex” an understatement is an understatement.
Black people have a thorny, painful, multifaceted relationship with the word. To assume its usage is cut and dried — even among us — is absurd. Some consider it a way to defang a once-derogatory word. Others see its continued use as a form of self-hate and abuse. Some are fine with people using “nigga” as a universal term, while others are absolutely not fine with any group other than Blacks using it.
But the question of whether we should still use the word in 2020 goes far beyond a simple yes or no.
I experienced my own internal struggles and questions around it, and it got especially complicated in my teens. One of the most volatile situations happened when I was 14, between me and my gym teacher, Mr. Namahage.
I was early for class that day, but hadn’t changed into my gym clothes.
“Williams,” Mr. Namahage said irritably upon finally noticing me. “Why aren’t you dressed for PE?”
“Because I sort of hate this class,” I responded flatly.
