Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 8 SpongeBob Characters Who Would Be Invited to the Cookout, Ranked
Live at the BBQ — Bikini Bottom-style
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8. Mr. Krabs
No one likes the guy who stashes multiple to-go plates within the first hour and closely monitors the communal bottle of bourbon he brought to the BBQ.
7. Gary
Having a meowing snail at the function might be questionable to some, but pets are cute for the outdoors. Plus, he keeps kids outta grown folks’ business. Just get him out the paint when Ying Yang Twins’ “Salt Shaker” drops.
6. Patrick
We all have that one cousin.
5. Larry the Lobster
Straight-up utility pick. We’ll need someone to stack the fuck out of these tables and chairs once the festivities wrap.
4. SpongeBob
We’ll put up with the lovable sponge’s godawful laugh so long as he mans the grill and keeps those delicious patties flipping.
