Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The 8 SpongeBob Characters Who Would Be Invited to the Cookout, Ranked

Live at the BBQ — Bikini Bottom-style

LEVEL Editors
Published in
2 min readMar 31, 2020
A photo treatment of a screenshot of Spongebob and Sandy from the TV show.
Photo illustration. Image source: Nickelodeon

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8. Mr. Krabs

No one likes the guy who stashes multiple to-go plates within the first hour and closely monitors the communal bottle of bourbon he brought to the BBQ.

7. Gary

Having a meowing snail at the function might be questionable to some, but pets are cute for the outdoors. Plus, he keeps kids outta grown folks’ business. Just get him out the paint when Ying Yang Twins’ “Salt Shaker” drops.

6. Patrick

We all have that one cousin.

5. Larry the Lobster

Straight-up utility pick. We’ll need someone to stack the fuck out of these tables and chairs once the festivities wrap.

4. SpongeBob

We’ll put up with the lovable sponge’s godawful laugh so long as he mans the grill and keeps those delicious patties flipping.

3. Squidward

An icon of sarcasm and dry wit. No character on this show screams “auntie” more than Squiddy.

2. Mrs. Puff

SpongeBob’s reluctant driving teacher is the type to tell all her church girls to pull up.

1. Sandy Cheeks

We’re not going to say Sandy is the Blackest character on the show. We don’t need to. You already know.