JUST RANKIN’ SH!T
The 7 People Who Are Most Likely Counting Our Votes Right Now, Ranked
Is there some funny business going on?
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7. Foxy Brown
Counting ballots is easy. All you need to do is figure 32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16, double it times three, we got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream. Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight, we back to 16.
6. This security guard
We could imagine at a certain point folks are just mindlessly sifting through ballots without thinking about it too much. We feel him. It’s only American democracy in the balance.
5. The sloths from ‘Zootopia’
Oh, you thought these sluggish animated characters were just figments of Disney’s imagination? Nope. They’re real, and they’re in all the corners of America determining the next president at the slowest possible pace.
4. The Count from ‘Sesame Street’
Imagine someone carefully counting each ballot, but squeezing in an arithmetic lesson every minute or two. At the very…
