Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 7 Best Pickup Lines to Use at the Republican National Convention, Ranked
Hooking up in the time of awkward green-screened GOP speeches
Published in
2 min readAug 26, 2020
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
7. “Mother said not to have dinner alone with a single woman — but for you I’ll make an exception.”
When the stakes are this high, gotta channel your inner Playoff P(ence).
6. “Do you like kids? You can racially profile my Brown one!”
Part of being conservative enough to speak at the Republican National Convention is accepting the bitter pill that your own Brown son is more likely to commit a crime than your White son. You love them both equally, but a potential RNC fling doesn’t need to know that.
5. “Are you an elite Democratic pedophilia ring? Because I can’t wait to expose you.”
Alternately, just say you are secretly QAnon and wait for the sparks.
