JUST RANKIN’ SH!T

The 7 Best ’Hood Chinese Takeout Orders, Ranked

Mr. Chow, this is not

Photo illustration. Image source: sweetandsour/Getty Images

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7. Wonton soup

Only one item here shares its name with a classic Lil B song. (Thank you, Based God!)

6. Egg roll

The most Americanized dish on this list? Depends on who you ask. We’re going with the deep-fried hot pocket filled with cabbage and egg and some other delicious shit. Don’t forget the duck sauce.

5. Shrimp fried rice

So you mean to tell me that a shrimp fried this rice?

4. Sesame chicken

General Tso’s sweeter cousin, this irresistible plate is the only time ganja smokers prefer seeds included.

3. Beef and broccoli

Only one item here shares its name with a classic Timberland field boot.

2. Chicken wings (four) and French fries

Preferably doused in a mystery ketchup-and-hot-sauce mixture, squeezed from an unlabeled red bottle. Real ones know.

1. General Tso’s chicken

All respect to the general — just don’t let that silent “T” trip you up at the takeout counter.

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