Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 6 Thanksgiving Guests You’re Happiest Not to See in 2020, Ranked
Aluminum foil isn’t the only silver lining this year
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
6. The annoying dieter
This person has dietary, ahem, preferences left and right. They wanna know if the stuffing is gluten-free, whether the potato salad is vegan, how many carbs per slice of cranberry sauce, and if the main course is turkey or “turkey.” While everyone is fixing a plate, you’d find them sitting at the far end of the table looking both judgmental and hungry as fuck, munching on a baggie of shaved almonds they brought from home.
5. The Rip Van Winkle
Itis is a phenomenon as natural as volcano eruptions and counterclockwise toilet flushes; it’s to be expected after a large feast. But this person’s Thanksgiving food coma is concerning. They start by nodding off at the table after dinner, and for the rest of the evening, you’d see them pop up in various locations around the house looking like the dude from Weekend at Bernie’s, leaving you wondering whether you should call them a cab or a coroner.
