Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The 6 Best Hip-Hop Songs About Being Washed, Ranked

Theme music for the 30-and-up crowd

Photo: Paras Griffin/Getty Image

6. “Stay Up! (Viagra),” 88-Keys featuring Kanye West

The hardest track of the producer’s otherwise flaccid solo career speaks directly to men “of a certain age.”

5. “Foldin’ Clothes,” J. Cole

Among other things, J. Cole is rapping about the virtues of Raisin Bran, almond milk, and doing laundry. This song is literally washed.

4. “Sittin Alone,” Little Brother

We’ve all been there before: Standing in a crowded nightclub, damn near drenched from the drunken twentysomethings carelessly waving and splashing their drinks on you, while music by an XXL Freshman you’ve never heard of is blaring from the speakers. Phonte and Big Pooh offer an alternative: How about stay yo’ ass home instead.

3. “Daughters,” Nas

That wait behind the door with a sawed-off” line hits different for every overprotective dad raising a teen daughter. (This doesn’t even seem like a good idea. Please don’t do this shit in real life. Looking at you, T.I.)

2. “30 Something,” Jay-Z

Hov turned a midlife crisis into an empowerment anthem for those of us suddenly plagued by random back pain.

1. “Can’t Forget About You,” Nas

Over a gorgeous will.i.am-laced flip of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable,” a wistful Nas takes listeners on a trip down memory lane once again, recalling the pop culture moments that shaped the childhood of ’70s babies everywhere. Maybe life truly does begin at 40, but when you’re washed, it’s a hell of a lot more fun to reminisce on the past.

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