Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The 5 Worst Basketball Movies, Ranked

If the Washington Generals were a film festival, it’d be this quintet of losers

Source: Handout/Getty Images

5. “Eddie”

The Knicks have had their share of miracle moments (Linsanity, anyone?), but this ’90s comedy takes the cake. An unlikely series of events leads to a basketball-obsessed limousine driver (played by Whoopi Goldberg) locking down a head-coaching role and taking the hapless New York squad to the playoffs, which is just… actually, what’s Whoopi doing these days?

4. “Just Wright”

Love & Basketball this is not. Queen Latifah and Common have worse chemistry than the 2018 Timberwolves, and the latter’s stiff performance — both on and off the court — deserves to get this rom-com benched.

3. “Air Bud”

Dogs play fetch. They do not play basketball.

2. “Teen Wolf”

Let us get this straight: Not only does Michael J. Fox transform into a fucking werewolf in the middle of a high school game, but folks actually let him live long enough to dribble around the court and throw down a dunk? In Nebraska?

1. “Juwanna Mann”

Transphobia, queerphobia, sexism — this one fucked around and got a triple-double! After being banned from professional basketball, Jamal (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) takes the only logical next step: impersonating a woman and joining a fictionalized version of the WNBA. Of course, he catches feelings for a teammate, because men (and because Vivica A. Foxx). Things somehow went according to plan… until dude’s wig pops off after a backboard-shattering dunk. Eject!

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