Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 5 Worst Basketball Movies, Ranked
If the Washington Generals were a film festival, it’d be this quintet of losers
5. “Eddie”
The Knicks have had their share of miracle moments (Linsanity, anyone?), but this ’90s comedy takes the cake. An unlikely series of events leads to a basketball-obsessed limousine driver (played by Whoopi Goldberg) locking down a head-coaching role and taking the hapless New York squad to the playoffs, which is just… actually, what’s Whoopi doing these days?
4. “Just Wright”
Love & Basketball this is not. Queen Latifah and Common have worse chemistry than the 2018 Timberwolves, and the latter’s stiff performance — both on and off the court — deserves to get this rom-com benched.
3. “Air Bud”
Dogs play fetch. They do not play basketball.
2. “Teen Wolf”
Let us get this straight: Not only does Michael J. Fox transform into a fucking werewolf in the middle of a high school game, but folks actually let him live long enough to dribble around the court and throw down a dunk? In Nebraska?
1. “Juwanna Mann”
Transphobia, queerphobia, sexism — this one fucked around and got a triple-double! After being banned from professional basketball, Jamal (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) takes the only logical next step: impersonating a woman and joining a fictionalized version of the WNBA. Of course, he catches feelings for a teammate, because men (and because Vivica A. Foxx). Things somehow went according to plan… until dude’s wig pops off after a backboard-shattering dunk. Eject!
