Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The 5 Meatless Burgers Least Likely to Offend Non-Vegetarians, Ranked

We’re not eating anything called Quorn, but we can make room on our plate for these

LEVEL Editors
Published in
2 min readJan 12, 2021


Photo: Hinterhaus Productions/Getty Images

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5. Gardenburger Original

The OG of this shit. Yeah, it’s a bit of a relic in this age of protein-rich plant-based burgers — basically mushrooms, onions, brown rice, and rolled oats, it feels straight out of a ’70s food co-op — but you gotta respect the architect. (Unless you’re vegan; it’s got cheese in it, too.)

4. Chili’s black bean burger

Real talk, one of the best things you’ve never ordered from a chain menu. Black bean burgers are a tough needle to thread; grocery store versions are always drier than Mike Pence’s palate, so best to make them yourself or get them at a restaurant. If you’re looking to avoid meat but also the wild food-science feats that go into most alternatives, just rock with the humble legume.

3. MorningStar Farms Grillers Prime