Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 5 Black Friday Shoppers You’re Happiest Not to See in 2020, Ranked
At least with quarantine and online shopping, you won’t have to run into these holiday-ruining folks
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
5. Shoulders Sherman
Pre-Covid, Sherman was the burly, former-linebacker-looking dude wearing an even burlier padded coat who’d block your way down narrow department store aisles when you were in a hurry. He still shops retail, but now blocks aisles from a respectfully distant six feet away.
4. Coupons Carla
Carla has a fold-out accordion-style coupon booklet that holds roughly 5,500 Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons; on her plus-sized smartphone, she’s got promo codes from RetailMeNot, Slickdeals, and Honey. When she’s done with her Black Friday shopping, the store owes her $50.
3. Tramplin’ Tonya
Remember when people lined up at the Best Buy sliding doors and then popped through suddenly like unpacked sardines to seek their Black Friday deals? You know, before the virus? Tramplin’ Tonya was the queen of…
