Just Rankin’ Sh!t

The 10 Best Fast Food Burgers, Ranked

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame-seed bun…

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10. The Whopper, Burger King

I remember when flame-broiling a burger meant something in this country. Sadly, Burger King is better known for its creepy-ass monarch than making good burgers these days.

9. Cheeseburger, Five Guys

There shouldn’t be such a thing as “too greasy” for a cheeseburger, but somehow Five Guys always manages to hand you a paper bag that’s damn near soaked with the oil sweats.

8. Double-Double, In-N-Out

When In-N-Out arrives in your town, it’s an event. But six months later, you can’t remember why you thought it was so great. Fine if you’re super hungry; super mediocre the rest of the time.

7. Truffle Mushroom Swiss Black Bean Burger, Smashburger

The only veggie option that dare show its face on this list is an excellent-in-its-own-right Lent option…