Member-only story
Just Rankin’ Sh!t
The 10 Best Fast Food Burgers, Ranked
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame-seed bun…
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
10. The Whopper, Burger King
I remember when flame-broiling a burger meant something in this country. Sadly, Burger King is better known for its creepy-ass monarch than making good burgers these days.
9. Cheeseburger, Five Guys
There shouldn’t be such a thing as “too greasy” for a cheeseburger, but somehow Five Guys always manages to hand you a paper bag that’s damn near soaked with the oil sweats.
8. Double-Double, In-N-Out
When In-N-Out arrives in your town, it’s an event. But six months later, you can’t remember why you thought it was so great. Fine if you’re super hungry; super mediocre the rest of the time.
7. Truffle Mushroom Swiss Black Bean Burger, Smashburger
The only veggie option that dare show its face on this list is an excellent-in-its-own-right Lent option that has a delicious patty and the toppings to back up the promise that it won’t be a rubbery excuse for a meat substitute.
6. Bacon ‘n Cheese Single Steakburger, Steak ‘n Shake
Midwesterners have rhapsodized about this chain forever and the flattened but juicy burgers are almost (ALMOST) as good as the incredible shakes. Shake Shack could never.
5. Cheese Slider, White Castle
White Castle is about volume, with burgers small enough that you can take down six at a time (and then order six more if it’s that kind of hunger). Even the frozen, microwavable White Castle sliders you can get at the supermarket aren’t so bad, which is kind of an amazing feat for a fast-food burger.
