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LEVEL
Higher Learning. A publication from Medium for the interested man.

Sexuality

In LEVEL. More on Medium.

The Chicago mayor needs to get real about her ineffective leadership

Photo: DNCC/Getty Images

On Saturday night, the mayor of Chicago found herself the subject of rumors that made her sound like the perfect candidate for a future Mona Scott Young production.

According to, activist Ja’Mal Green, a critic of Lightfoot, tweeted then deleted a message indicating that Lightfoot was planning to leave office.

On Sunday, Green tweeted that he was “sorry” for helping to spread the rumor. “I know Lori is mad that folks have started rumors and I’m sorry I helped by saying she’s resigning but the reality is, we’ve been lied to since the beginning of this administration,” Green…


Dear Level

Don’t ruin a perfectly good holiday by doing too much in the bedroom

Images: zoljo, Jupiterimages, Anastasiia Burlakova, malerapaso/Getty Images

How do I love Valentine’s Day? Let me count the ways. I love the romance, the sex, the chocolate. On this inherently romantic holiday, my partner and I go the extra mile to show not only how much we love each other, but how turned on we are by one another.

Every year on February 14, I insist on bouquets of red roses and star lilies, bottles of champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, and decadent dark chocolate truffles with sweet and surprising centers (cherries and cream are the best!). I’ll usually play a sexy soundtrack, light some candles, and put on a…


DEAR LEVEL

Change is coming!

Illustration: Olivia Fields

Let’s get this out of the way: New Year’s resolutions suck. They’re usually a setup for failure — it takes more than a new calendar for a complete lifestyle change-up. (Save for the 8% of you motivated ones out there, who are probably overachievers anyway.)

For as long as I can remember, my resolutions have been the same: eat better and work out. I’m the one you see in the gym on January 1, going hard on the treadmill, protein shake in hand. Just don’t count on spotting me within 100 feet of any workout equipment once February hits. …


Rapper and sex worker King Noire encourages men to redefine sexual social norms

Photo: Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

“WAP,” “Poly Sutra.”

Before James Brown’s “(Say It…


Dear Level

Just play your part and watch the magic happen

Illustration: Olivia Fields

Every week that I write Dear Level, I usually ask my fiancé his thoughts. My partner is super open and has very few hang-ups about anything; if I want to talk about anything involving sex, he’s always game.

Until now.

Today’s topic, ladies and gentlemen, is role-play! Going all out. Getting into character — and sometimes costume — and putting on a performance worthy of a Pornhub Award. (Yes, there are really Pornhub Awards; no, you don’t want to be a judge.)

Feeling randy and have a little time to get creative? Boom. Grab one of your scenarios. Your partner…


Dear Level

Cut. Uncut. We love them all. Most of us, anyway.

My Facebook comments are in shambles. And it’s all your fault.

You see, as I sat down to write this week’s Dear Level column, I had a realization: I’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis. Sure, I’ve heard all about them, and I get the general gist. A penis with its head covered, yes? I’m struggling to create a mental image. I just know there’s some foreskin involved.

After a search on Google Images, I realized I have very likely seen an uncut penis — when at attention, there’s not much difference between that and one that is circumcised. I probably…


Dear Level

Unlock your inner Energizer bunny

Illustration: Janet Sung

On my very first date with my now partner, I made one thing clear. If this works out and we end up in bed together, I told him, please know this: I will never, everget on top during sex. Ever.

(He was only slightly horrified, but he told me later that he appreciated the brutal honesty.)

So why no woman on top for this woman? Over the years, I’ve found that some lovers depended on me to do all of the work while they lay flat on their backs, enjoying the view. That’s fine occasionally, but if you’re not…


Dear Level

‘The more, the merrier’ doesn’t always apply — especially without the proper boundaries

Illustration: Janet Sung

Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to discuss this thing called polyamory: What it is, what it ain’t, and how to navigate it if you so desire. It’s not the same thing as its cousin polygamy, which is the practice of having more than one spouse. (That happens to be illegal in all 50 states — yes, even for Mormons in Utah — so if you’re fantasizing about a harem, let that pipe dream go.)

Polyamory refers to having multiple consensual relationships (no, your work wife doesn’t count). Cheating on your partner is not polyamory, nor is turning a blind…


Dear Level

After 60 days of celibacy, you’ll be amazed by what you’ve learned about yourself

Illustration: Janet Sung

The year was 1997. I was 24 years old and dating a few people but none seriously. Truth be told, I was kind of over it. It felt like every single situationship was the same: Date for a while until you feel like it’s compatible; have sex; date a little while longer; watch things inevitably fizzle out for any number of reasons.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I wasn’t ready to get married or have babies, so each relationship was just a freestyle swim back and forth in the dating pool with no real idea of what (if anything) came next.

Sex…


Dear Level

Are you ready for some bondage?!

Illustration: Janet Sung

Over nearly half a year of writing Dear Level, I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts, learning new things, testing the limits of my partner’s privacy, and taking informal polls. But this week’s topic is a little spicy, even by my standards. (And yes, I still stand behind my endorsement of butt play!)

There’s a time and place to test the limits of what feels comfortable or predictable, particularly for readers who are in trusting relationships and looking to liven things up. Go ahead and test those limits — as long as you and your partner are on the same page. …

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