Sign in

Higher Learning. A publication from Medium for the interested man.


In LEVEL. More on Medium.

I am coming out

Photo: courtesy of the author

I am an atheist.

These words that have echoed inside finally left my lips in December 2013 when I informed one of my best friends, Nic. My heart palpitated fast, and my anxiety uncontrollable.

“I am an atheist, Nic,” I told him.

“I already knew that,” he said. “What took you so long to admit that to yourself? Either way, that doesn’t change how I love you.”

Next, I told my wife.

“Well, you’ve always joked I was an atheist, and now your ass is an atheist,” she said. “Live in your truth. I am here either way. …

I’m still learning what’s next

Photo: Plume Creative/Getty Images

I’m afraid to be lonely, yet I’ve never been alone.

I have a problem being monogamous. “Mono” means one. As an only child, I could not stand being “one” all the time. It didn’t seem a fair choice.

So I’ve always looked to pair. I’ve been in a coupled state as long as I can remember; it’s a core desire. For most of my life, I didn’t know how to feel good and valid without being part of a couple — but I also haven’t limited myself to being in a traditional relationship. …

Dear Level

‘The more, the merrier’ doesn’t always apply — especially without the proper boundaries

Illustration: Janet Sung

Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to discuss this thing called polyamory: What it is, what it ain’t, and how to navigate it if you so desire. It’s not the same thing as its cousin polygamy, which is the practice of having more than one spouse. (That happens to be illegal in all 50 states — yes, even for Mormons in Utah — so if you’re fantasizing about a harem, let that pipe dream go.)

Polyamory refers to having multiple consensual relationships (no, your work wife doesn’t count). Cheating on your partner is not polyamory, nor is turning a blind…

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store