Sign in

LEVEL
Higher Learning. A publication from Medium for the interested man.

Gadgets

In LEVEL. More on Medium.

Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Charge it to the game!

A partial view of a Duracell D battery in black & white against a background with the repeating text “Just Rankin’ Shit.”
A partial view of a Duracell D battery in black & white against a background with the repeating text “Just Rankin’ Shit.”
Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium; Source: Getty Images

Rechargeable appliances have largely replaced those that require batteries, but these old reliables have avoided obsolescence. Personal groomers, your wireless mouse, handheld kitchen gadgets, your kid’s toys, a wall clock, the damn TV remote — you’d best keep a few of these batteries around, lest you be AAssed-out when you need ’em.

Ever touch your tongue to the polarized nubs of one of these batteries for the sole purpose of adding some semblance of sensation to your otherwise numb existence? Just us? Oh. You could use them in smoke detectors, too, we guess.

Okay, Radio Raheem. Unless your nostalgic ass…


Just Rankin’ Sh!t

No, YOU’RE salty and bitter that you couldn’t get your hands on the new console!

Photo: Hello I’m Nik/Unsplash

This 1998 classic — a music maker that had nothing to do with the cable network MTV — was the coldest idea game studio Jester Interactive ever came up with. Legends like TDE’s Sounwave cut their teeth on it, and budding producers everywhere got to try new ideas for a low cost.

A needle dropping on a vinyl record. Sliding a tape into a VCR. And pulling a game disc out of the package knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it was a finished experience. No patches, no constantly refreshing calendar of downloadable content. Just… the game. …


Just Rankin’ Sh!t

Skip the preorder this year, and respect the burner

Photo: Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images

Nothing caps off a vicious read quite like that incomparably satisfying clap of cheap Chinese plastic. The red END CALL button could never reach the pettiness levels of the Jurassic-era dumbphone.

Listen, COINTELPRO ain’t ever cease, okay? Even if you’re not on the block like those boys from The Wire, the feds don’t need to know you’re using janky stream sites to binge Love Island from your mobile device. Want to entertain yourself on a flip phone? Just fire up Snake and stay your ass off the grid.

Unlike the iPhone 12, which will questionably be sold without a charging…

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store