Member-only story
Lemme Get Back To You
Solutions for the Pressure Cooker of Family Quarantine
Our advice columnist has the answers — plus, how to give thanks and give back
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
Like so many other folks, I’m working from home and sheltering in place with my wife and two kids, including a toddler. But it’s not a big house, and we’re all here all the time. I love them, but I’m just trying not to lose it. Homeschooling, childcare, domestic duties, marriage: How do I preserve my sanity right now?
There’s a reason people love working from home — well, endless reasons. It’s more comfortable, there’s no commute, you can focus on doing actual work instead of office small talk. But up until recently, “working from home” came with certain assumptions: your kids are at school, you aren’t living through a national emergency, you can go outside without the risk of breathing in death. And now, here we are. You and your wife might be figuring out new work schedules and workflows, your kid’s trying to figure out remote schoolwork, you’re trying to figure out remote schoolwork, nobody knows how to stay out of each other’s way, the dishes are piling up, there are toys everywhere. There aren’t enough chargers for all the electronics. Et cetera. Et cetera.
The danger here is that your whole day just dissolves into eight-plus hours of stress goop. And what’s the antithesis of goop? Structure! That means discovering a rhythm. You have a spot of intensive work, then a lull. Your wife has one, too. God willing, they don’t overlap. Small children are structure-resistant creatures, yes, but you know your kid, when they take naps, when they need to play, and you’ll be able to figure out when they should be working on their spelling. Create a family schedule with your wife and try to stick to it if you can. Working from work provides you with a sense of knowing what to expect; the more you can replicate that, the better.
After you’ve given your stress goop structure, you need to help it flow through its locks and gates. That means communication. Everyone needs to know what’s going on. Your co-workers need to know when you’re taking a…
