The Problem With Self-Care

How the individualism of self-care is fueling community divide

Churchill Ndonwie
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Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

I was proclaimed dead at birth. After many grueling hours of labor, I finally decided to make an entrance into this world. My entrance however was sickening — I was very blue colored, wheezing and my appendages were disjointed. One of the doctors declared my condition terminal with merely just days to live. However, two doctors decided to think otherwise. Over the next two months they took shifts to care for me while I was in the critical care unit.

My mom was not able to breastfeed me due to the strain on her body from labor. My aunt made a deal with one of the other new moms in the maternity ward. She said she would cook meals for her in exchange for breast milk. My first breastfeeding experience did not come from my mom, but from a stranger who was at the hospital. Every time my mom tells me this story, I think about the circumstances a lot. I wonder, if it were the same scenario in America, would I have survived? What would have happened if the other mom had just “minded her business” or only focused on her situation? What would have happened if everyone had just focused on their individual needs. Over the last several years, the self-care movement has become a viral craze, where focusing on self and only self has become paramount.

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Churchill Ndonwie
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Writer for

Young Professional living in NYC. Making connections and creating communities through storytelling. Host of City Living with Churchill Podcast