Pray for Us All in This Time of Barberlessness

If you’re insecure about your hairline or your weave or your toes, we’re all in this together

Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

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Photo: Nuno Raimundo/Getty Images

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I’I’m secure enough in my manhood to say that I prefer to feel like a bad bitch at all times. For me, that entails getting a haircut every single week… and maybe a lineup later in the week if I have to go to something that I can’t get out of.

I know, a gay man being vain is not especially revelatory. For the record, though, you straight male thots are no less vapid. After all, I’m in the same barbershops as the rest of y’all. I may often wish I had purchased noise-canceling headphones, but I’m in there. So I know that y’all are no less self-absorbed than I am. If anything, I’m probably simply better at it.

I swear on my mama’s praline that I’m not about to dive into the written equivalent of India.Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair.” That’s not my style. (Also, no shade, but Akon’s voice weirds me out.) But no matter how broke I’ve been — and yeah, this is the part where I plug that whole second book I have coming out about life as a filtered broke bitch thanks to massive private student loan debt and that other financial crisis — I have…

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Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

New York Times bestselling author of “I Can’t Date Jesus” and “I Don’t Want To Die Poor.”