On the Philosophical Implications of Playing With the Booty
Don’t worry, we can take turns getting the groceries
I don’t know any other way to begin this, so I’ll just dive right in: You should probably consider adding anal play to your sex repertoire. Fingers. Toys. Tongue. There’s a whole world out there that you’re neglecting. Don’t be afraid to explore the infinite pleasure bounds of your butthole.
Oh, dear. I was afraid this would happen. Are you still there?
Listen! It’s normal. It’s fun. And lots of men are already enjoying it. (They really are — they’re just not telling you. Yes, even your barber.)
It’s never been wholly acceptable for heterosexual men to stimulate the area where the sun don’t shine. And although our culture has come a long way with regards to sex positivity, anal play is, for many, the final frontier — the one hump we’re still trying to surmount. For context, let’s rewind to the pre-Trump era.
[Insert wavy flashback transition effect here.]
January 27, 2016. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Obama was still president! And in a Twitter beef for the ages, Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa unloaded a barrage of insults toward each other — including Ye repeatedly insulting Wiz’s girlfriend, and his own ex, Amber Rose. Muva stepped into the fray and shut it all down with a Hail Mary, half-court buzzer-beater of a tweet.
There was a collective gasp. Social media was in shambles. For many, it was considered an ultimate comeback burn: “Fingers in the booty ass bitch.” But some of us thought: Why is this an insult? Why would we all gasp? And why would she frame a totally normal sex act as something that should be embarrassing?