I’m Officially Too Old To Listen to Dudes Rapping About Oral Sex
The problem isn’t the subject matter — it’s the callousness
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
As I officially step into my late thirties later this year, I have accepted that the superpowers of aging will only accelerate with time. In other words, it won’t be long now before I’m tempted to post thirst traps of myself in Under Armour shirts like Tyler Perry and other uncles on the move.
The signs are there. On one hand, a dermatologist tells me I look so much younger than my apparent big ass old age; on another, a different doctor tells me my lingering back problems are sciatica. (If there was any lingering doubt that this is an old man problem, Pope Francis, 84 years old, is having similar problems as me, someone born in 1984.) If you are the praying kind, please ask the Lord above to heal my pains with prescriptions and increased stretching so I won’t be kicked off the Houstonians With Good Knees list that includes Beyoncé, Solange, and Megan Thee Stallion. It’s never fun to fear you’ll need a cane by 40.
While I admittedly didn’t know what a BRS Kash was until it showed up on a Spotify playlist…
