Dear Level

If Your Partner Says She Doesn’t Want to Get Married, She’s Lying

Just because she’s independent doesn’t mean she doesn’t want that ring

Aliya S. King
Published in
5 min readFeb 28, 2020
A gif of one hand holding another hand with a ring on it and animated sparkles.

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting

RRemember that Method Man lyric on “I’ll Be There for You/You’re All I Need to Get By”? The line where he raps: “You don’t need a ring to be my wife.” Now, think about every other song lyric ever. Has a woman ever said something similar? I’ll wait here while you look — or until we both grow old and ultimately keel over—because good luck with that.

I know what you’re going to say: Me and my partner have been together for a year or so. She’s not tripping. Everything’s good. Or maybe you’ve been together forever, kids and all. And there are no rings or documentation to make it official and legally binding. You don’t need a piece of paper to show your love for your woman — or your children. Y’all are together because you want to be. Periodt.

And she’s fine with it. No, really! She’s not tripping. Her friends may talk crap, but your woman is confident. She told you herself, she doesn’t need a ring to be your wife.

Except here’s the thing: She’s lying to you.

Your girl wants to get married. Whether she’s 26 or 46, she wants to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle on her dad’s arm. Whether she’s never been married or she’s previously divorced, she wants to jump the broom, tie the knot, and say “I do” — maybe all three at the same time. She wants to be validated. She wants your friends and family to witness the love you two share. She wants you standing next to your boys with a thug tear in your eye.

If she says she doesn’t want children, it’s likely she doesn’t. But if she says she doesn’t want you to buy a diamond ring and put it on her finger while down on bended knee, she’s lying, bro.

Unfortunately, there are some parts of the patriarchy that are still deeply ingrained in some women. You have to remember, we grew up with Disney princesses and Prince Charming and June brides and Say Yes To The Dress and 90 Day Fiancé and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and The Real



Aliya S. King
Writer for

Aliya S. King is an author, freelance writer and editor.