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How Do You Mourn a Father You’ve Never Known?
Reconciling with the aftershock of growing up without a dad
My three brothers and I moved from Cameroon to the United States in 2007. We lived with our single mother, who had moved to the States two years prior.
Five people sharing a two-bedroom apartment was not easy. But we made it work and kept the place organized.
While cleaning one Saturday morning, I found a shriveled paper with names and phone numbers in my older brother’s room. It was the contact info for my eldest brother’s family and friends. One contact stood out to me.
It was my dad’s name.
When I was 12, I felt an urge to reach out to a man who had no prior involvement in my life; I decided to call my dad. I found my mom’s international prepaid calling card and started to dial. As the phone began to ring, I got nervous — I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and sweat collecting on my skin. Then, a male voice picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Churchill,” I said.
“Who is that?”
“It’s Churchill… your son.”
“I do not know who you are.”
