How to Overcome the Foster Care System as a Black Boy

Black boys deserve love, not expectations of failure

Darryl Mcdavid
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Photo: Fran Polito/Getty Images

AsAs a foster youth, I entered conversations about family history with a sense of dread. When a classmate would share a family tree that stretched back generations, I’d be terrified, fearing that I’d be asked to do the same. Many kids in foster care share similar feelings because we often lack a sense of belonging and connectedness within specific communities.

As an adult, I now realize that I’ve always attributed my educational obstacles to the fact that I was a foster youth — without understanding the role that being a Black boy affected my foster experience.

To understand my past, I had to confront it with deep self-reflection — a practice I’ve come to believe is critical for foster kids to move beyond a survival mindset. I had to learn to trust, confront childhood trauma, and redefine the role that family would play in my life — while also attempting to get an education and maintain a level of financial stability that would allow me to continue to live in the Bay Area.

Foster youth need support in order to feel valued and connected; unfortunately, our experience tends to do the exact opposite. To avoid having to explain the complexities of our lives in school settings, we put up a facade…

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