I Wrote a Product Review of My 12-Year-Old Son
The pros and cons of raising a preteen
I was trolling TikTok for laughs one day when I stumbled upon a video of a guy doing a “review” of his newborn baby boy. This dude was visibly delighted with his two-month-old offspring — he said the boy only cost him a few “grown-up transactions” — and encouraged others to get one, too.
Now, I got a good chuckle from the breakdown, which played like an unboxing video. That’s a shiny new baby, fresh out of the box. What’s not to like?
Of course, he’s cute. A baby alligator is cute. And like a baby alligator, a baby human is cute when you first bring them home. But as they get older, they get ginormous and want to eat all of the food as quickly as you can procure it.
Your son getting bigger, stronger, and better than you is your destiny. That baby boy is a walking outsourcing department — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
