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I Met My Son When He Was 2 — And I May Never See Him Again
The only thing more life-altering than discovering and raising my child was losing him
I’m not particularly religious, but I believe in generational curses. I’m convinced they’re the cause of issues that course through the paternal lineage of my family tree — everything from addiction to poverty to absent or abusive parenting. I wasn’t cognizant of this growing up; I just knew I had a screwed-up childhood. But things came into focus when I had a child of my own.
My son (I’ll refer to him as “C”) came into my life unexpectedly as many children do. But this was more than just an unplanned pregnancy; I wasn’t even aware of C’s existence until he was just over two years old. I stupidly had a one-night stand with his mother, a woman I’ve known most of my life. I’ll spare the details and excuses I used in an attempt to convince myself (and my wife) as to why it happened. The cold, hard truth is I messed up, and there’s no excuse for it. And the universe came knocking on my door in the form of a miniature version of myself almost three years after my one night of idiocy.
C’s mother was dating a woman when we hooked up, and she had no desire to break up her relationship with her girlfriend. Looking back, I believe she tried to get pregnant so that they could have a child together. Her girlfriend raised our son as her own. She took care of him day in and day out while my wife and I lived 15 minutes away none the wiser.
When C’s mother and her girlfriend broke up, it became apparent she wasn’t equipped to handle raising a child by herself. That’s when she brought C to me. Since his birth, she hadn’t done much in the way of mothering him — she let her girlfriend play the role of both mom and dad. She worked the third shift at a local restaurant, slept days, and expected a two-year-old toddler to adopt her schedule. It required him to watch YouTube in bed with her while she passed out, high as a kite. They slept in hotel rooms because she couldn’t find suitable housing.
I give her credit for realizing she was in no position to take care of our son. She was in an untenable situation, and she needed help.
