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I Hope White Parents Are Tougher in Real Life Than on TV

Show me a Black parent who would suffer bratty kids so kindly

Jeremy Helligar
LEVEL
5 min readOct 30, 2019

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Jason Biggs and Maggie Lawson tackle White parenthood on “Outmatched.” Photo: Fox Broadcasting Company

Spare the rod, spoil the child? Sometimes I wonder.

I turned 50 years old this year, so I’m from the era when a smack across the face — or a belt on the butt — wouldn’t result in a visit from child protective services. I’m not sure if “spare the rod, spoil the child” was the parenting mantra in my home growing up, but sometimes I thought my folks’ discipline style felt borderline sadistic. Thankfully, being that I was the youngest of four children, they were probably too exhausted to give me the brunt of it.

It’s been at least four decades since I was spanked or hit, so I remember the physical characteristics of the belt more readily than the pain it inflicted. Meanwhile, I can recall thinking that I’d never hit my kids, every time I felt its sting. (At the time, I probably secretly knew I’d never have kids.) Now, when I look back at my folks’ brand of discipline, I get it.

I appreciate that my mother and father never confused parenting with friendship.

I’ve never condoned any form of corporal punishment; I once refused to let my seventh-grade math teacher “paddle” me for talking in class, so…

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Jeremy Helligar
Jeremy Helligar

Written by Jeremy Helligar

Brother Son Husband Friend Loner Minimalist World Traveler. Author of “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?” and “Storms in Africa” https://rb.gy/3mthoj

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