Dear Level
How to Tell If Your Partner Wants a Breakup
Relationships often end long before you go your separate ways. You’ve just gotta watch for the signs.
I recently ended a five-year relationship. Since then, I haven’t thought twice about it. That’s a new thing for me. In the past, my breakups were always difficult. Then, over time, the pain of missing my ex would make way for the joy of not having to deal with his bullshit.
Cycling through my breakup emotions would usually take about eight weeks, after which I’d feel ready to face the world and maybe date again. This time it seems I’ve skipped the post-breakup grieving process altogether and transitioned right into the “get on with your life” portion of the program.
Having shed not a single tear for Everette, the man I loved for the past five years, I wondered what made this breakup so different. Within days of texting him a very curt breakup message, it hit me: The day I left Everette wasn’t the day I left Everette. I’d been gone for more than a year.
In her mind, she’s preparing for a life without you. She might not know exactly when she’s leaving, but she knows it won’t be long.
It happens slowly and then all at once. Sometimes, when a woman loves you, she’ll grant you leniency and patience not afforded to others. Like many men, you may not see this as a kindness, but as a weakness, and you’ll take advantage. On the one hand, she’s teaching you how to treat her by forgiving your foolery time and time again. But on the other, she’s also keeping score, counting down until the day you provide the final emotional straw that breaks her back. Between now and then, however, she’ll start checking out and preparing to leave you in ways you might be too comfortable to notice.
Before you know it, she’s playing Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable,” directing you toward your boxed-up belongings. But to make another Destiny’s Child reference, the writings were on the wall. You just have to know what you’re looking for. Here are seven indications that your relationship’s days may be numbered.
