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Dear Level
How to Role-Play in Bed Without Feeling Like a Clown
Just play your part and watch the magic happen
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
Every week that I write Dear Level, I usually ask my fiancé his thoughts. My partner is super open and has very few hang-ups about anything; if I want to talk about anything involving sex, he’s always game.
Until now.
Today’s topic, ladies and gentlemen, is role-play! Going all out. Getting into character — and sometimes costume — and putting on a performance worthy of a Pornhub Award. (Yes, there are really Pornhub Awards; no, you don’t want to be a judge.)
Feeling randy and have a little time to get creative? Boom. Grab one of your scenarios. Your partner will know something’s coming. But they won’t know what exactly.
In an episode of the sitcom The Good Place, after Eleanor reveals that she has a fantasy of being with a letter carrier, her partner, Chidi, indulges her by showing up in a postal uniform. Hat, shorts, the whole nine. The scenario was played up for laughs — well, kinda — but it made me wonder: How many of us are fantasizing about the letter carrier, the high school cheerleader, the ride-share driver? As usual, my research began with my pre-husband.
Me: Have you ever had a woman dress up for you?
Partner: Yes.
Me: Did you like it?
Partner: It was cool.
Me: Where do you stand on dress-up role-play? Is that something you’d add to our life?
Partner: I mean, maybe? I don’t know. It’s not something I’m personally seeking.
Me: So, it’s something that just needs to happen out of the clear blue sky?
Partner: Or not. It can be planned out, too.
Me: Come on, I need more words!
Partner: You need better questions.
Great talk. Thanks.
