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Dear Level
How to Not Screw Up Your Marriage Proposal, Romeo
It’s only one of the biggest moments of your life. No pressure!
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
I didn’t enter 2020 anticipating marriage. And yet here we are. Over the holidays, in a tiny period of respite between election shenanigans and a terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol, I tied the knot with my betrothed. (Yes, something good happened during 2020!) Now I go around saying “Ize married now!” and wiggling my ring finger approximately six feet away from the face of anyone who will entertain me.
You might be right behind me. But if you’re ready to tie the knot, take the plunge, jump the broom, or any other euphemism for getting married, you’ve first gotta nail the proposal. It’s a custom that dates at least as far back as the Roman Empire, when men would put two rings on it before marriage — a gold one for out in the world, and an iron ring to wear at home while doing chores. (SMH.) Diamonds entered the tradition once they became more readily affordable, and marketers made them ubiquitous beginning in the 1940s.
No one wants to go through an elaborate speech surrounded by loved ones…
