Dear Level
How to Fight Fair With Your Partner
Just because we’re living in a pressure cooker doesn’t mean our relationships have to suffer
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
What does your partner do that really grinds your gears? I’m not talking about the things we ignore so that we keep the peace. (For me, that’s hair in the sink. Shudder.) I’m referring to the things that make us snappy and will inevitably lead to an argument — like smiling hard when you’re actually being critical. (Double shudder.)
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. We’ve all got different perspectives and ways of operating that may not always mesh with someone else’s. If you’re in a relationship, you’d ideally like to minimize these conflicts and prevent them from becoming blowups. But how do you fight fair with your partner? Should you two have ground rules that are established in peacetime? Should there be topics that are always off-limits? Should you regularly seek counsel from a professional?
My beau and I are pre-married. (We don’t like the word fiancée. It sounds pretentious.) It’s a second marriage for both of us, and we’re bringing fully formed careers, children, pets, and yes, a…
