How the Pandemic Killed Your Sex Life

Between a pandemic and a traumatic news cycle, it’s been a trying year for many Black couples. Here’s how to keep the fire burning in the bedroom.

Trey Alston


Photo: svetikd/Getty Images

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Over the course of the coronavirus pandemic, my sexual relationship with my partner has transformed like Autobots and Decepticons. Any semblance of normalcy has melted into oblivion; in its place, there’s a constant yearning for stability. Due to uncertainty and constant stress, we haven’t turned off the lights, cued up the Chilled R&B playlist, and shaken our headboard nearly as much as we did before the world went to shit.

It turns out I’m not the only one. For many Black couples around the country, the last few months — which have been rife with the triple threat of Covid-19, police brutality, and economic uncertainty — have drastically changed sexual frequency, and often not for the better. It’s an odd, almost ironic situation. Being confined to a home with your partner should mean there’s more sexual activity going on, right? Apparently, it’s not that simple.

“Intimacy is emotional closeness,” says sexologist Cindy Alves, a founding member of the…